all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
