I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
