I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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