the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
