my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How does it feel to date your dad?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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