i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
