I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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