brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
