OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That accounts for only three of the penises
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
