Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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