On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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