He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
