Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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