That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
