Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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