New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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