This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
