Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is Oprah even human
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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