I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
