are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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