i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
