I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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