Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
