Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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