I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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