areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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