The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
