All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
