What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
worst night to have a conscience
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The Olympian is in my bed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
