Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
