I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
