Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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