im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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