There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize