Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
