I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
