Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
