If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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