Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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