having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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