You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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