to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
