chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
