Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
