the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
