He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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