all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
