I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
