just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
