I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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