Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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