somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
