Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
