You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
