So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
