Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
