I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
