And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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